journal

“Don’t rush sis, it’s not a race.”

I can’t tell you how many times I have to repeat this to myself on a daily basis. I have to constantly remind myself, “Just be patient sis, your time is coming and you know it’s not going to just happen overnight.” I think that we are always so eager to reach the finish line, before we even start the race, that we lose sight of the importance of the journey.  We don’t really take the time to allow ourselves to enjoy the process and know that every step that we take is a lesson learned and we are closer to reaching our goals.   

One thing that I am personally working on is patience. I have to realize that it takes time to reach our goals and instead of rushing the process, I should utilize that time to grow and learn more about myself and the goal that I’m trying to reach. You know, we never really give ourselves a chance to enjoy the road to success because we’re so busy just trying to get to the top without even stopping to smell the roses a little. Learning to embrace life, your mistakes and your faults is just another stepping stone you take as you continue to grow.
What are you currently focused on and what steps are you taking to achieve that goal?

Feel free to comment your answer 🙂

journal

Chapter 25

Wow. Where do I begin? It seems like it was just yesterday when I started my blog and posted one of my firsts blog posts, Chapter 24. Even though I haven’t been consistent with posting as much as I should and like to be, I’m still proud of myself for taking the first step in creating my blog. I think its kind of impossible to reach a goal without action, right? Yeah, you’re going to need discipline, along with consistency, in order to reach any goal you may set for yourself. One of the reasons I created my blog was to share my life with the world and to also help those who are having a hard time dealing with depression, anxiety, and discipline and any other challenges life may throw your way.  Though I’m still learning myself, we can take this journey together and one day at a time.

First I want to say that I am blessed to see another year. So much is going on in the world and sometimes we forget how blessed we really are and tend to take life for granted. I am truly grateful to still be amongst the living, sitting here pouring my heart out to strangers, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂 Sometimes we forget to take a minute and stop and smell the roses and actually enjoy life. Well, that’s one thing I plan to do differently and live every moment to the fullest. I feel as though I’ve found myself again and this reunion is personal and much needed. Over the past year, I have dealt with depression and anxiety and though I hate to admit it, they almost won. It was so hard for me to deal with something I knew nothing about, especially when you’re not expecting it and it just pops up and slaps you in the face. But come to find out, that’s just how life is. We will always get hit unexpectedly with whatever life throws our way, its just up to us to stay ready and be prepared to handle any obstacle we may face.

journal

Depression is real, but so is God

So I woke up this morning down and out and at my worst. I was just so depressed and I didn’t know what to do. I tried so hard to keep from crying and breaking down and I was trying to think of other things besides negative thoughts. So I decided to take a shower, thinking it would make me feel better. It didn’t. In fact, it made matters worse and I decided to let it all out and I cried like a baby. I cried so hard I didn’t breathe or say anything for at least 45 seconds. Yea, it was that serious. I don’t even know what came over me but I knew I had to let it all out before I really did something crazy. I cried and I prayed to God. I asked, no I begged him to show me the way, to help me figure out my purpose in life. I just felt like such a failure and it seemed like things were not going to get any better. I never thought I would feel this way about life and actually wanting to end it.

After praying and crying hysterically for about 5 minutes, I tried to pull myself together and finally got out the shower. I checked my phone and saw that I had received message from my sister on Facebook that was very motivating and made me smile and feel a little better. I finished getting ready and then I received a call from a really good friend of mine who simply just called because they missed me and wanted to hear my voice . Mind you, no one knew how I was feeling or what I was going through so for my sister to message me and my friend to call me out the blue to tell me that, made my day and I didn’t feel so down anymore. I realized I actually had something to live for. I thought about my mom and my family and how this selfish decision would change everything. It was in that moment that I realized my life mattered.

I truly believe in God and I know he heard me and sent his Angels to brighten my day and comfort me during this time. I prayed some more and thanked God for strength and guidance. I won’t allow myself lose sight of my purpose or forget his grace and mercy and I know he will always see me through.