journal

Support System and Prayer Warriors

AngiieOutLoudLeave a comment

You have to have a strong support system that is very well structured and built on a sturdy foundation. A foundation made of trust, people you trust and of course have close relationships with. Someone you can relate too. You need people in your life that you know for sure means well. I feel like it’s also important that they are prayer warriors and are just as serious about prayer as you .

You can link and meet up with them whenever, just make sure you make time for them, and wherever as long as they are good energy flowing. Practice and normalize healing relationships with friends that you know for a fact care about you, make sure you build a strong bond and connection or rebuild and trust that they will have your best interest at heart.

journal

Prayer and Growing Closer to God

AngiieOutLoud1 Comment

Prayer is basically your open letter to God or your one on one conversation with God. You can pray whenever and wherever, really doesn’t matter to him as long as you take time out to give thanks. You don’t need a specific appointment time to talk to God. You can literally start praying whenever.

I pray for clarity, for guidance, for a sound and right mind. I pray for consistency and to remove the spirit of procrastination. You can pray for a lot of things, doesn’t necessarily have to be for anything tangible or materialistic. Keep in mind, any time you talk to God, you don’t have to want or need anything either. Simply saying thank you can be considered a prayer. It’s a blessing for and to God because you’re showing your appreciation.

Have an open mind, be faithful, eager and want to learn and know more. He wants you to come to him first and foremost and be assertive, know exactly what you want.

journal

A Life Lesson

AngiieOutLoud2 Comments

I bet if you had one chance to go back in time and do things differently you would, right? Make better decisions, maybe chose a different career path, marry that one person you wouldn’t even dream of being with, right? Now we all know we can’t change the past or go back in time. But what if I told you, instead of wasting time reminiscing and wishing you could change the past, you could use that energy to start over and create a better you. Take a moment and think about all the obstacles you’ve had to face, those mistakes that turned to lessons that you’ve learned from.

What is the main thing that you can take from those situations that didn’t work out ? Once you come to terms with your faults and accept the fact that you’ve messed up and can’t take anything back, you’re able to move on to the next phase. Accept it for what it is and just work on improving, elevating, evolving, and growing into who you were meant to be. It’s not going to be easy, life is not easy and if it is you’re just not living right. The most important thing is that you don’t give up, you keep going, and right when you feel like giving up, remind yourself you can just start over.

journal

“Don’t rush sis, it’s not a race.”

AngiieOutLoud1 Comment

I can’t tell you how many times I have to repeat this to myself on a daily basis. I have to constantly remind myself, “Just be patient sis, your time is coming and you know it’s not going to just happen overnight.” I think that we are always so eager to reach the finish line, before we even start the race, that we lose sight of the importance of the journey.  We don’t really take the time to allow ourselves to enjoy the process and know that every step that we take is a lesson learned and we are closer to reaching our goals.   

One thing that I am personally working on is patience. I have to realize that it takes time to reach our goals and instead of rushing the process, I should utilize that time to grow and learn more about myself and the goal that I’m trying to reach. You know, we never really give ourselves a chance to enjoy the road to success because we’re so busy just trying to get to the top without even stopping to smell the roses a little. Learning to embrace life, your mistakes and your faults is just another stepping stone you take as you continue to grow.
What are you currently focused on and what steps are you taking to achieve that goal?

Feel free to comment your answer 🙂

journal

Chapter 25

AngiieOutLoudLeave a comment

Wow. Where do I begin? It seems like it was just yesterday when I started my blog and posted one of my firsts blog posts, Chapter 24. Even though I haven’t been consistent with posting as much as I should and like to be, I’m still proud of myself for taking the first step in creating my blog. I think its kind of impossible to reach a goal without action, right? Yeah, you’re going to need discipline, along with consistency, in order to reach any goal you may set for yourself. One of the reasons I created my blog was to share my life with the world and to also help those who are having a hard time dealing with depression, anxiety, and discipline and any other challenges life may throw your way.  Though I’m still learning myself, we can take this journey together and one day at a time.

First I want to say that I am blessed to see another year. So much is going on in the world and sometimes we forget how blessed we really are and tend to take life for granted. I am truly grateful to still be amongst the living, sitting here pouring my heart out to strangers, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way 🙂 Sometimes we forget to take a minute and stop and smell the roses and actually enjoy life. Well, that’s one thing I plan to do differently and live every moment to the fullest. I feel as though I’ve found myself again and this reunion is personal and much needed. Over the past year, I have dealt with depression and anxiety and though I hate to admit it, they almost won. It was so hard for me to deal with something I knew nothing about, especially when you’re not expecting it and it just pops up and slaps you in the face. But come to find out, that’s just how life is. We will always get hit unexpectedly with whatever life throws our way, its just up to us to stay ready and be prepared to handle any obstacle we may face.

journal

Chapter 24

AngiieOutLoud1 Comment

I haven’t been 24 a full year but I feel as though I’ve learned more about life in the past 7 months than I have my entire life. Dealing with depression, realized I have anxiety, low self esteem here and there, and feeling like a failure. This journey hasn’t been all bad, some good has come along and also taught me how to remain calm in certain situations, thinking before I speak, and stay focused and work towards my goals, just to name a few.

I never thought I would experience depression. I’ve always been a happy go lucky person with a bubbly personality that everyone instantly fell in love with. I was always smiling, laughing, making jokes, always wanted to be around people. Growing up, I was surrounded by love so that’s all I knew and that’s all I ever wanted to give to others. Not sure exactly when I realized I was depressed but I knew something was wrong because my mood changed, I wasn’t so happy anymore, didn’t want to be around people, didn’t even want to go to work. I would call in sometimes simply because I didn’t want to be bothered. I started noticing that I wasn’t smiling as much, didn’t want to get out of bed, stopped eating and taking care of my body, just really didn’t care about anything anymore, including my appearance(which is not like me at all). I finally hit an all time low and I talk about depression and how I dealt with it here, feel free to check it out.

Of course you’re not going to experience depression without anxiety . The two together are evil and will ruin you if you let them. I literally made myself sick and allowed anxiety to take over my life. Sitting up worried about things that I had no control over and it was very unhealthy. My alarm goes off at 5 every morning and if I go to bed at 9 or 10 anxiety wakes me up at 2 and I’m up for the day. I can never go back to sleep no matter how hard I try because I’m too busy worrying about the past and what I could’ve done differently. But I am learning from my mistakes and learning to move on because the past has already happened, this is the present and I should be focused on the future.

Dealing with these two has been tough and has revealed to me my strengths and weaknesses. I know how much I can handle and if something is out of my control I just let go and let God. I’m still fighting this battle and I definitely still have room to grow, improve, elevate and evolve. Chapter 24 is the beginning of my story and I cant wait to share it with the world.

journal

Depression is real, but so is God

AngiieOutLoud4 Comments

So I woke up this morning down and out and at my worst. I was just so depressed and I didn’t know what to do. I tried so hard to keep from crying and breaking down and I was trying to think of other things besides negative thoughts. So I decided to take a shower, thinking it would make me feel better. It didn’t. In fact, it made matters worse and I decided to let it all out and I cried like a baby. I cried so hard I didn’t breathe or say anything for at least 45 seconds. Yea, it was that serious. I don’t even know what came over me but I knew I had to let it all out before I really did something crazy. I cried and I prayed to God. I asked, no I begged him to show me the way, to help me figure out my purpose in life. I just felt like such a failure and it seemed like things were not going to get any better. I never thought I would feel this way about life and actually wanting to end it.

After praying and crying hysterically for about 5 minutes, I tried to pull myself together and finally got out the shower. I checked my phone and saw that I had received message from my sister on Facebook that was very motivating and made me smile and feel a little better. I finished getting ready and then I received a call from a really good friend of mine who simply just called because they missed me and wanted to hear my voice . Mind you, no one knew how I was feeling or what I was going through so for my sister to message me and my friend to call me out the blue to tell me that, made my day and I didn’t feel so down anymore. I realized I actually had something to live for. I thought about my mom and my family and how this selfish decision would change everything. It was in that moment that I realized my life mattered.

I truly believe in God and I know he heard me and sent his Angels to brighten my day and comfort me during this time. I prayed some more and thanked God for strength and guidance. I won’t allow myself lose sight of my purpose or forget his grace and mercy and I know he will always see me through.

Journal Entry #1
journal

Journal Entry #1

AngiieOutLoudLeave a comment

So here we are. My first official blog post.  Not too sure of what to talk about but I know if I don’t start now, I never will.  That’s it, discipline.  Willing myself to start blogging and doing anything I believe I can do and making sure I’m consistent.  I’ve fell off plenty of  times but I feel this time will be different.   Why?  Because I actually have a plan and goals that I would like to achieve.  So many ideas, so many topics that I want to discuss and get off my chest.  Because if I don’t I will become a wisher.  A person who wishes things to become true and constantly asking myself well “What if this” or “What if that.”.  No, I am a dreamer.  To me dreams are more realistic.  I know it sounds weird but that’s my belief.  A dream can turn into something real if you believe.  And I truly believe in myself.